


Six Degrees of Separation

by treehousesandpoohbears



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 13:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4922248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treehousesandpoohbears/pseuds/treehousesandpoohbears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Love is a wonderful thing,” they say. They never tell you how much it hurts. How much pain there is when you fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Degrees of Separation

_“Love is a wonderful thing,” they say. They never tell you how much it hurts. How much pain there is when you fall in love. They never say how much you have to work at it, how much you have to go through before you get a happy ending. And getting one is not even a guarantee. They never tell you about the missed opportunities, the ones who got away, the unrequited loves. And so you believe love is beautiful, love is magical, love is everything you wanted._

 

But it’s not. Some days are good, you wake up and you can get on with your day without missing him. Most days, however, he pops up in something that reminds you of him, or on your Facebook feed, or instagram photos. He seems to have no problem moving on, while you’re living in limbo. You see him everywhere. Every part of you misses him.

He’s far away, doing his PhD in Classics, and you’re on the other side of the country, struggling with med school. _How are you, I miss you,_ you think to yourself. You refuse to write to him because writing would just make it worse. Make the ache worse if he doesn’t reply. So you don’t give yourself that. And it was you who decided to cut off contact, to “break up”, to stop the emails anyway. _Take care,_ you wrote, hoping that he could read the _I love you_ in those two words.

_But how can you break up if you were never really together? Sometimes you try to make sense of what happened, but it never really works. Thinking never really helped. You fell in love before you knew it, and by that time, you were in so deep, it was like being in Tartarus. Stop with the greek references already, you tell yourself._

So this is what it felt like, your heart breaking into a million pieces, and having no way to put it back together. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so bad if you weren’t such good friends. You don’t even know how you became friends. One day, you were just helping to look out for his sister, and the next thing, you were stealing moments to talk. It began with his sister, it ended somewhere else.

Growing up together did not help with the crush. He knew you. Could anticipate your every move. Every step of the way, he was there, in some form or other. You knew each others’ families, friends, your social circle was his social circle. Losing him was losing your best friend, because he was that in every sense of the word.

People ask why you’re not with someone, why you don’t date. You have friends, who introduce you to people, but they are not him. There’s always something wrong. You find yourself comparing them to him automatically, like a reflex, like breathing. _He’d laugh at that boy’s hair,_ you think. _That girl looks like a princess - perfect for you, princess,_ he’d say.

 

_They never tell you how hard it is. How frustrating it is. How pissed you get. That there is a much higher rate of heartbreak and heartache than finding your soulmate. That love crushes you under its weight._

_And you wonder, how to get a happy ending without the one you love, how to become the person you were before, how to go back to the beginning._

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Script - Six Degrees of Separation


End file.
